Thursday, May 31, 2012

the appointment we hope to forget

We had our first appointment with the fetal assessment "specialist" doctor at the main hospital today and don't think we'll be going back.  The first half of the encounter went really well!  She took measurements and heartbeats and Team Sandness is growing like crazy!



The second half however...while we appreciate and realize that we need to know all the risks we are about to embark on, we especially didn't appreciate being told, among other things, that while I and the babies could die, Charlie and I might end up divorced ("because you know that the divorce rate in this country is already 50%, and with the stresses having quadruplets will bring, your chances go up from there" to be exact), we will have a loss of income because obviously I won't be able to work (ya think!?), and that given Charlie's job as a Marine, I will be a single parent while he deploys.  What about the positive things?  Surely there were some!  Did I mention that as I started to cry, she handed me a used paper-towel to wipe my eyes and her office door was open while the other nurses were out there laughing and having a nice chat? 

By the time the appointment was over, we were done.  Had to get out of there.  The next few weeks were pretty rough.  Although everything we learned at that awful appointment was dreadful to think about, we did have to think about and consider what she said.  Should we "reduce" the pregnancy to two babies?  Something we were and are very uncomfortable even thinking about, let alone actually considering.  Because the military insurance doesn't perform or pay for "reductions," we were given a referral to consult with another doctor at a civilian hospital.  That appointment was scheduled for June 14th and in the meantime, we had a lot of thinking, researching, and PRAYING to do.